A Rip in Space & Soul

While he truly believed Rizu could put the fear of God in anyone that crossed her, he wasn't one that would want her involving herself in anything that was his responsibility to deal with.

'I've done enough running.' He reminds himself.

He glances down at her hand resting on his knee and sets his hand gently over top of it, "I mostly prefer to fight my own battles, Lieutenant." He informs her in a soft voice, "But if you allow me the same liberty to do the same to those that trouble or hurt you, I will accept." Even though he figured Captain Wolf would be the first on the scene to deal with anyone that would hurt her, he still felt he may one day become a beacon of light to this squad.

*Rizu blinks, slightly surprised by both Kyousuke's actions and his words. She looks over at him and smiles, nodding.* It's not every day that I accept such an offer, because like you I prefer to fight my own battles...and the battles of others. *She laughs quietly and grins.* But as long as it's mutual, I'd be honoured to have such an alliance. They're few and far between these days you know. I can already tell that Koga-taicho made a sound choice admitting you into the squad.

In spite of her having a much perkier, innocent demeanor, by comparison to his much more distant, bashful nature, Kyousuke found they both shared similar characteristics; more so than he originally thought. He admires the smile painted over angelic features, returning it with a strong, warm grin of his own, "You think so?" He asks in accordance to her suggestion that Captain Wolf was right to recruit him to Squad 12.

*Rizu smiles and nods again.* Yes. For a couple of reasons. For one, you were given one of the hardest entrance tests that I can remember Koga-taicho giving any of our squad members. That includes me, as well as my lieutenant's test. *Pausing a moment, she stares seemingly right through Kyousuke, following his aura as it ebbs and flows.*

Not only that, but you survived it. Not everyone ends up in one piece either physically or emotionally by the end of his shikai release. *Rizu thinks back to when Koga's illusionary technique drove her mad, believing her arm had been savagely ripped from its socket and shudders slightly. She shakes her head of the thought and smiles, laughing under her breath.* Besides, you even managed to knock me on my ass. We're lucky to have you.

He noticed a slight disturbance in Lieutenant's eyes as she spoke about what it was like to encounter Captain Wolf's Shikai, something he also remembered clear as day. He thought to ask her about it, but decided against it. But to hear he was one of the few to survive it as a student made him feel a bit prideful. He chuckles under his breath as she brings up their battle once more, "I have to admit, despite nearly getting killed, I did have fun battling against you, Lieutenant Rizu." He confessed, feeling as though he had grown stronger just by surviving the battle against her, "Perhaps next time, the results will be different."

*She glances over at him as his aura emits a brief wave of positive thought and smiles.* I'm glad you've found a little bit of pride, Kyou-kun. *Quietly giggling, she looks back up at the darkening sky.* Though theoretically you were close to death, you were no closer than you were before we fought. I wouldn't have let you die. *She sighs with relaxation and falls back with a thud, clasping her hands behind her head.* You're part of my squad now, I'll prevent such things at all cost. *She grins to herself as stars begin to appear in the sky.* I expect that the next time our blades clash I'll have a hell of a time.

Kyousuke smirks as the Lieutenant falls back into the lush grass. He then slants his gaze at his swords, remembering how it felt to release it. The weapon seemed to crave the woman, starving for power; a hunger so insatiable that even holding it was taxing. To know that these blades were a reflection of his soul, he wondered exactly what that meant about him.

Lifting his head skyward, he studies the stars as they begin to dot the soft, velvet sky beautifully, "I've noticed not everyone here feels the same as you do, Lieutenant Rizu." He comments, recalling several scenarios he's witnessed here in the Seireitei, "I've seen some of the Shinigami here wouldn't mind a chance to cut the other down."

*Rizu lifts her arm up with her index finger pointed towards the sky. She connects the stars playfully and smiles to herself.* I am not other shinigami. *She shrugs, turning her head to look up at Kyousuke in a strange position, her arm still up in mid air.* There will always be others who hurt others to get further, causing people pain to justify their own pain. *She looks back up to the sky, continuing to connect them with invisible lines.* Focus on those who would never harm you for their own gain...and accept their help when you encounter those who would. You'll be just fine. *Grinning, Rizu waves her hand towards Kyousuke, dismissing the negativity behind the topic.* Stick with me, you've got nothing to worry about.

With a calm string of laughter, Kyousuke lays his swords down next himself and slowly lays down in the grass beside Rizu, "The way I see it, is there's no power that is worth gaining, if that power requires you to sacrifice who you are, or the cause which you fight for." He mutters as he studies the stars formation in the sky, drawing images from them in his mind, "The purpose of the Shinigami is to maintain the balance between life and death. And while we are individual in our own way, we are all protectors; family. So I've decided that though we are divided into different squads, we all fight for the same cause. Therefore, we are all part of one squad, each with our own unique purpose, and all of us are worth protecting, even from ourselves." He draws a few more pictures in the stars above, "And now...I have another reason to fight...to become strong..."

*Rizu turns her head slightly, glancing at Kyousuke and dropping her arm.* Hmm. It's interesting you say that. *A crooked smile creeps to her face as she raises an eyebrow thoughtfully.* I happen to hold the same belief... *Her voice lowers involuntarily to a mumble.* ...Most days anyways. *She closes her eyes briefly, recalling her last encounter with her mother and what she had said. "I will bring you back... ...Anyone who gets in my way will die..."- *She shakes it off and opens her eyes again, looking back at Kyousuke curiously.* Another reason?

The mention that he wasn't alone in his own beliefs regarding the Seireitei and the Soul Society, made him that much more taken by the beautiful woman laying to his right. It was good to not be alone, he felt, which was something he had known for a long time, "Yes." He finally answers to her, sensing her curiosity to understand what he meant by finding another cause. He surrenders himself to the embrace of the gentle breeze as it passes by...

*Curiosity nagging at her, Rizu grunts lazily as she lays on her side to face Kyousuke with her right hand under her chin, propping her head up.* Yes? *She smiles and hums curiously under her breath, studying his expression for any potential tell signs.* May I ask what that reason is?

He couldn't sense auras like the Lieutenant could, but he could sense impatience, and she was brimming with it. It was quite amusing, he had to admit, since he deliberately held his silence just to tease her. The feeling tickled him until he couldn't help but chuckle. Finally, he turned his head toward her, his eyes locking directly with her own soft green pools, "It's you, Lieutenant Rizu." He finally admits, "For what I have learned from you here today, and for what I know about you now, my reason to learn more about my power and become stronger as a Shinigami has grown in strength as well."

*Waiting anxiously for a response, Rizu frowns slightly and begins tapping her feet impatiently against the ground. As she's about to open her mouth to prod further, Kyousuke answers with a chuckle. She raises her eyebrows with surprise, finding her cheeks burning slightly. Quickly, she cools her face down with her reiatsu to reduce the blush. She lets out a laugh and shakes her head, rolling over again to lay on her back as she once was.* Me eh? Hm...gotta say, wasn't expecting that. *Smiling softly, she keeps her eyes on the sky.* I'm happy I could impact you in such a way, Kyou-kun.

"I'm happy you could too, Lieutenant. More than you know..." Kyousuke replies, continuing to look up at the stars, "I know now that I'm not alone."

Pausing a moment, he picks up his sword, holding it out over himself, "Burakkuhoru told me...that the reason he has such an appearance...is because of me." He adds with a hint of solace in his voice, "Because I nearly destroyed us both. I don't remember how, but he said something had happened to me; something so devastating that it literally created a hole in my very spirit. And if I chosen to give up completely, both of us never would have made it to the Soul Society."

His visage droops into a slightly pained expression as he stares at his sword, "Because I ran for so long, and because I never fought to achieve anything, Burakkuhoru's true self will never be restored, and it longs to know."

*Turning her head again to look at Kyousuke, she smiles comfortingly at him.* No matter how lonely one may feel in their own world...nobody is ever alone. *Rizu studies his expression change carefully, smiling softly.* What we cannot recall is often what pains us the most... *Her smile fades as she processes her own words...before learning the truth of her parents, she knew nothing of her past. What was missing? What could she have forgotten after so long?* Hm. *She stares through Kyousuke, absorbed in her swirling thoughts.*

Too caught up in his own thoughts at the moment, he mulls over Lieutenant Rizu's soft-spoken words. Her tone alone was enough to soothe the pain and guilt he felt for what he had done to his Zanpakuto. He wondered if Burakkuhoru resented him, "You believe we all have a hole in our spirit?" He inquires to the Lieutenant, "That we have all done something to harm ourselves, and altered the appearance of our Zanpakuto?" The question itself had several implications, one which would tell him if he was the only one that ever effected his sword in such a way...

*As Kyousuke's words echo in her ears, she comes back to reality and shakes her head to clear her head, frowning.* I...hm... *She makes a nervous laugh and sits herself up, scratching the back of her head anxiously.* S-sorry...I've...hm. *After stuttering through her words, she clears her throat and looks over to Kyousuke again, smiling sincerely.*

I believe that there are some things that we cannot understand that we do to ourselves without knowledge...be it because we forget or because we don't know what we're doing when we do it...we are ever changing creatures. The fact that you released your zanpakuto at this stage of your life, with this form is just a part of life that must be dealt with.

If you had released him 10, 20, 50, 100 years from now...his appearance may have been different then as well. *Rizu meets Kyousuke's eyes with her own.* We cannot control everything in this life. All we can do is take what we have and turn it into something we can embrace.

He listened closely to the Lieutenant's answer, unable to find any fault in her reasoning. It made sense; when Kyousuke first communicated with his sword, he noticed it never spoke to him as though the spirit was angry. Was that because it understood he didn't know what was happening as it happened? Or was it perhaps since taking it's form, it no longer remembers being anything different? It was an interesting concept.

Noticing the Lieutenant sitting up now, he could see a certain level of apprehension in her, as though her own thoughts were troubled. Pushing himself up onto his elbows, he looks into her eyes, sensing she wasn't completely looking back at him; more like she was looking through him, or somewhere in her past, "You all right?" He asks.

*Rizu smiles half-heartedly, looking down at her hands and clearing her throat once more before speaking.* Yes...well, no actually. Not entirely. I mean...aaah...*She runs her hands through her hair, frustrated by her jumbled thoughts.* Until recently, I hadn't done much thinking about my past, simply because I figured it was just one of those things I forgot from long, long ago, before the Soul Society... but now...*She looks back up at Kyousuke, doing her best to mask the desparation in her eyes.*...Now, I'm not even sure...if...if there was a before. No...I'm almost certain there was no before...hm...

*Cradling her head in her hands for a quick moment, she lifts her head back up with a meek smile.* There is much that I still don't know about myself, Kyou-kun. Your guess would be as good as mine.

"Until recently?" Kyousuke asks her, canting his head to the side a bit. He was getting the feeling there was something bothering her to such an extent, she was having trouble forming her own words, "How recently exactly?" He inquired next. More than that, he felt he had dozens of questions he wanted to ask about her, which was something very rare for him in someone he just met, and who nearly killed him with awesome, and beautiful power. "I don't mean to pry, Lieutenant Rizu..."

*Rizu smiles at Kyousuke, almost relieved that she had someone to talk to about what was constantly plaguing her.* Hmm. The last few weeks, a lot has happened. The preconceived notions I had about my upbringing and family were proven to be much different from what I always assumed. The people...the people who reside in Soul Society...this is their second life after what they lived through in the world of the living. *Smiling to herself as she thinks about her father, Rizu shuts her eyes as she speaks.* I never had that life...and yet I don't have very many early memories.

*Opening her eyes again, she looks at Kyousuke.* Kyou-kun, you may ask me anything. Most times, I will answer. Every time I answer, I will answer truthfully. So don't censor yourself on my account; I'd rather you ask me anything on your heart and mind than keep it inside to gnaw at your soul.

With the permission given, he gives a simple, quiet nod to her, deciphering what she was telling him concerning her past. Her body language, her distracted eyes, her tone, all of these things suggested there was more to this story, "That's true. We learn our souls are sent here after we lose our original bodies in thew living world." He says, reciting those things he had learned in Shino Academy and even before then, but he also was aware of another fact, "But not all souls here were born first in the living world. Some are born here in the Soul Society."

He gauges the Lieutenant's reactions though it all, piecing things together before they were spoken. It was a talent of his, "And you've learned something more about yourself, something that has you fighting with your personal feelings, and you're struggling with what to do about it." He pauses a minute at that before being a little more blunt, "A hole has been punched in your soul."

*Taken off guard by the bluntness of Kyousuke's words, Rizu looks back down at her hands and nods.* Yes. That's just it. It feels like there's an entire chunk of me missing in time during a period I should remember...but I can't. Yet I don't even know if there is anything significant to remember...instead just typical memory fading over time.

*She shakes her head in confusion.* I've only just learned the identities of my parents, despite one of them being with me as long as I've been breathing. Right under my nose... *Smiling softly, Rizu sighs.* It just means to me that there is much I didn't know before...so what else could be missing?

Once again, Kyousuke's deductive instincts proved sharp as the Lieutenant confirms his suspicions, but it wasn't something he neccessarily prided himself on. In truth, he could determine things in others which were none of his business, and he didn't want to cause Rizu any pain, "Well, the only way you'll find the answr to your question is if you go searching for it." He advises, "Bur that's a decision you must make first - if you really want to search for the answer, and if you do, do you want to know the answer?"